Shredding & Honoring

This blog entry is dedicated to our magnificent office manager and colleague, Debbie Dix, who has been the third peer spirit in our office for 16 years, fully occupying her leadership chair.IMG_4406

 Ann Linnea and I arrived on Whidbey Island in March 1994, with two book manuscripts in progress, her two children, my first corgi, a small amount of savings and child support, and the idea that this circle process we were experimenting with was a gift we wanted to refine and offer the world. A mission actually, a sense that we had come together to deliver this gift, to make space in the world for circle. Ann rented a house for herself and her children, I house-sat up the road. I wrote the first version of Calling the Circle and tried to find a publisher interested in buying it.

A few months later, Ann’s book, Deep Water Passage, sold and the money helped us stabilize a way forward. That fall she bought a house with a little shed in back and rehabbed it into office space: 10 x 20 feet, two rooms: a back room for book storage and a mailing station, papers, files, and the growing accumulation of equipment for this work—from markers and flipchart paper to camping gear for wilderness experiences, boxes of collage materials, and three computers for our technological interface with the world.

In March 2000, Debbie Dix showed up seeking flexible work while raising her (then) toddler son and supporting her (then) high school math teacher husband. We hired her in 20 minutes and have thanked our lucky stars over and over and over. We could truthfully say, “We are a small, local educational company with global outreach.” There is a more detailed version of this progression in the preface to the book.

Twenty-two years have gone whizzing by. And now, having spent the past three years transitioning our circle training and consulting into the capable hands of dozens of colleagues and onto the new website www.thecircleway.net, we are taking the PeerSpirit office apart. (We will continue teaching writing and leading quests.)

Two four-drawer filing cabinets, six plastic storage bins of archived files, teaching scripts, remaining booklets inventory (as they are now transferred to e-booklets available on The Circle Way site and Amazon), and 20 hula-hoops used to demonstrate personal space at the rim of the circle. We are recycling all the office supplies we can. We are giving away the circle accessories we’ve accumulated on the journey. We are shredding the file contents that need to be safely discarded.

Sorting and shredding is actually quite an emotional process.

Shredding raises questions about what it means to carry a body of work that is basically invisible (the synergy of the space between people), and to let go of the documentation of that journey. There is no university archive waiting for “the circle papers.” We have little empirical evidence, just change of heart evidence.

Shredding requires that Ann, Debbie, and I handle every file, and in the midst of sentimental recollections, let it go. “Oh look, here is where we met Sarah, David, Holger, Linette…” or “Remember St. Pat’s church, 2003? The speech we gave at Brescia University?” Hundreds of consulting jobs, Circle Practica, phone notes from negotiations that seemed promising and stalled out, surprise connections: a life-time of work.

We three carry the experience and story of what it took to bring the circle into the world as we did. And as the boxes pile up, we witness that story, recite bits of it to one another, and let it go. Nobody wants all these details. Nobody but us could decode them into sense-making.

There is a moment when I wonder if we should be making a list of this history—but for whom? And why? Everyone engaged in teaching and practicing The Circle Way is accumulating their own experience and story. Circle is about interaction, not archiving.

The impact of circle will speak for itself in how lives shift. This is the great magic. We are sitting in the round. The circle pattern is called into place. A talking piece starts hand-to-hand. People speak heartfully. There is an energetic opening, often felt as a tiny “ping” in someone’s awareness. A bell rings. The group breathes, moves on. But that ping is morphing inside someone’s mind and heart. Checking out, s/he says, “I don’t know what it is about this circle stuff, but I’m going back to my office to interact differently to my staff. I going home to ask my family a meaningful question and see what happens at the dinner table.”

That’s the circle’s archive. That’s the proof.

A few weeks ago Ann took 10+ boxes to Island Recycle and put the contents through an industrial chomping machine.

 

 

 

Being a Responsible Traveler

Mid-August and I’m back home on Whidbey Island bringing in garden bounty and kayaking in local waters after a 10-day vacation on Kaua’i with family—my partner, my daughter Sally, her partner Joe, our grandchildren, and also my sister Margaret and her family. We were a party of nine, ages ranging from 5 to 70.

Kauai's incredible coastline

Kauai’s incredible coastline

Sally as a stand up paddler on this year's trip

Sally as a stand up paddler on this year’s trip

When she was sixteen, I took Sally to Hawai’i in a special mother/daughter trip. She’s thirty-three now and has been wanting to take her family to Hawaii. The trip was a year in planning, including getting swimming lessons for five-year-old Sasha so we could all venture into the water safely. We wanted an opportunity to immerse ourselves in water sports in a place of cultural diversity with the young families in our lives.

Our nephew and grandchildren

Our nephew and grandchildren

We had an amazing time—truly appreciated the little fish that our grandchildren and nephew have become.  Loved living our days in awe of nature’s bounty— the rain forest where “houseplants” are “trees” and it can pour rain in bright sun and make rainbows—all at once. We loved the ocean where we saw dolphins, sea turtles and a remarkable variety of fish. I will never forget our collective squeals of delight when we saw a baby in the midst of a pod of spinner dolphins, or our awe seeing an endangered monk seal resting on the beach.

Tropical rain forest of Kaua'i in the rain!

Tropical rain forest of Kaua’i in the rain!

 

Endangered monk seal out of the water resting

Endangered monk seal out of the water resting

 

 

 

 

 

Despite all of this, I am keenly aware that our flights and visit came at a cost to the earth. So, our intention was take this trip as responsible travelers, not merely tourists. For me that means diving into an understanding of the place you are visiting and working to be a positive presence while being there.

 

We purposely chose to live in rural Kaua’i by renting a home in Hanalei.

Our Hanalei rental home

Our Hanalei rental home

We were responsible for trash and recycling. We were awakened by the ever-present feral roosters that start to crow in the wee hours of the morning. We cooked most of our own meals and shopped the local farmer’s market.

Shopping the farmer's market at Hanalei

Shopping the farmer’s market at Hanalei

 

 

 

 

Christina and Jaden preparing fresh fish

Christina and Jaden preparing fresh fish

 

When an activity required expertise, like a boat trip up the Napali Coast, we hired a local company.

Leaving on the Napali Sea Breeze from Anini Beach

Leaving on the Napali Sea Breeze from Anini Beach

 

 

 

 

Part of our family on the Napali coast snorkeling tour

Part of our family on the Napali coast snorkeling tour

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We practiced learning to read the waves and the weather so we could make wise decisions about which beaches to visit for snorkeling or boogie boarding.

The granny boogie boarders

The granny boogie boarders

We started our days with a circle of planning to gain input from everyone and we took lots of time to acknowledge stories and appreciation of what we were experiencing.

Our morning circle of check-in with animal cards

Our morning circle of check-in with animal cards

We attended a local, educational hula show hosted by the Kapa’a Cultural Center rather than a hotel luau.

Kapa'a Cultural Center Hula show

Kapa’a Cultural Center Hula show

We worked to know the names of some of the local flora and fauna. We all practiced saying the name of Hawaii’s state fish: humuhumunukunukuapua’a, the rectangular triggerfish, which we often saw while snorkeling.

Maku'ae'ae island a bird refuge near the Kilauea Light house

Maku’ae’ae island a bird refuge near the Kilauea Light house

All seven+ billion of us are one people making our home on one planet. Traveling helps us see beyond the borders of our own lives and interactions. It raises our tolerance and understanding of difference. It opens our minds and hearts to the wonder of the earth. It is a wonderful privilege. May we always use it wisely. What are some of the ways you practice being a responsible traveler?

Ann and Christina overlooking the Hanalei wildlife refuge with taro ponds

Ann and Christina overlooking the Hanalei wildlife refuge with taro ponds